I have found myself oddly intrigued by NBC’s newest reality TV show called Momma’s Boys. I watched it out of boredom one day, mostly because the name of the show in itself had me curious. The first episode had me laughing hysterically, completely entertained by the fact that anyone would make a show about 3 single men and their mothers. But that wasn’t all! It was about 3 single men and how they had to choose wives from 30 women (give or take) with their moms’ help. 

Sounds great, right? The guys thought so too, until one wanted the bombshell blonde and Momma didn’t agree. Each of them had their own ideas and didn’t want their Momma’s input! 

At the end of each episode, there is an elimination. The guys can’t have ALL of the women, which means some have to go. The elimination process consists of the girls receiving text messages with their answer. The men send out 3 different answers amongst the girls. (1) “YES” (2) “Sorry, the answer is no.” (3) “Meet me at the pool.” The girls with a “No” leave right away. The girls with a “Yes” get to stay. And “meet me at the pool”? This means their fate is yet to be determined at a face to face meeting with the men.

At the finish of episode two, three women went to the pool where the men awaited to give their answers. These woman were Lauren, Megan, and Corina. They lined up. Lauren was called forward first, and one of the men asked her to stay. Megan was next to step forth, leaving Corina to wait in dreaded anticipation. The first guy said no. The second said no as well. The third asked her to stay. Megan was the house “mom” of the many women, the quiet bookworm type that hid while the others got the attention. She was literally in shock that she was chosen over Corina, and in the end, gave her place up so that Corina could stay. 

It’s already been questioned if the heart-pulling scene was staged. It had many in tears, including myself, all amazed at the selflessness of one young woman. I did a little research, and Megan is, in fact, an aspiring actress. Yet, whether or not she was acting in this display of kindness and love is not the point. To me, even if it was all a façade, I can’t help but admire such an act. I can’t say that I agree with the way these men are choosing to select a wife (come on, reality TV?), but Megan cared so much for her friend Corina that she took the rejection in Corina’s place. I’m sure most woman would agree that giving up a chance at nabbing a husband is a lot to give up (especially just so another girl could have the opportunity!) All I could think was Wow. Real or not, that was incredible. (If she was acting, by the way, her incredible and seemingly heartfelt emotion can only be interpreted to me as great skill!)

I fell asleep on the couch last night at 8:30pm. It’s typical for me to take a nap in the evening, as I am quite the nocturnal type and usually stay up until 3-4am most mornings. This time, however, it was more than just the usual 15 minute nap. I didn’t awake until 12:30am, a whopping four hours later, only to find my entire family had gone to bed and left me asleep. It was nice, though strange for me.

I did, however, recall waking up briefly at 9:30 or so and checking my cell phone for the time. Oddly enough, a fluttering thought, a question, raced through my brain.

Why are people so often defined by those they spend time with?

I then went back to sleep, unaware of where this question had so randomly sprouted from. When I woke up  later on, I thought about it again. Why are we so defined by others? If we spend a lot of time with a particular person, we become “so and so’s” friend. There is almost an identity loss in this (not always the case, but too often with young people it is). I’ll use myself as an example. A simple observation doesn’t unfold as, “Oh hey, there’s Mandee,” but instead, “Oh there’s [that other girl's] friend.”

This is understandable if it is an outside observation by someone who has never met me, but what about someone who I’ve been acquainted with for any length of time? Or, look at another example, “Oh that’s the girl that likes that guy.”

I thought and mulled over this for a long time. WHY do we become labeled as one who is connected to another? Then I think I found the answer. 

When there is a lack of balance in any type of relationship, whether a friendship, a dating relationship, or even something as silly as an obsessive crush, you find it to be on your mind 24/7. I have seen some beautiful friendships because two people knew that their identities were found in Christ and not in each other. When anything becomes obsessive, it reveals itself to outsiders. I don’t want to be “that girl that hangs with that crowd.” I want to be, “Mandee, the young woman who loves God and isn’t afraid to make a difference or take a chance.”

Do you get me, do you understand what I’m saying? We should not defined by those around us, but rather by Who is in us.” I should be the one that loves God and people, not the one that just hangs with the popular ones (or is the popular one). 

Let Christ be your definition.

Mandee