Definitions

Dec 22, 2008 by mandeewidrick

I fell asleep on the couch last night at 8:30pm. It’s typical for me to take a nap in the evening, as I am quite the nocturnal type and usually stay up until 3-4am most mornings. This time, however, it was more than just the usual 15 minute nap. I didn’t awake until 12:30am, a whopping four hours later, only to find my entire family had gone to bed and left me asleep. It was nice, though strange for me.

I did, however, recall waking up briefly at 9:30 or so and checking my cell phone for the time. Oddly enough, a fluttering thought, a question, raced through my brain.

Why are people so often defined by those they spend time with?

I then went back to sleep, unaware of where this question had so randomly sprouted from. When I woke up  later on, I thought about it again. Why are we so defined by others? If we spend a lot of time with a particular person, we become “so and so’s” friend. There is almost an identity loss in this (not always the case, but too often with young people it is). I’ll use myself as an example. A simple observation doesn’t unfold as, “Oh hey, there’s Mandee,” but instead, “Oh there’s [that other girl's] friend.”

This is understandable if it is an outside observation by someone who has never met me, but what about someone who I’ve been acquainted with for any length of time? Or, look at another example, “Oh that’s the girl that likes that guy.”

I thought and mulled over this for a long time. WHY do we become labeled as one who is connected to another? Then I think I found the answer. 

When there is a lack of balance in any type of relationship, whether a friendship, a dating relationship, or even something as silly as an obsessive crush, you find it to be on your mind 24/7. I have seen some beautiful friendships because two people knew that their identities were found in Christ and not in each other. When anything becomes obsessive, it reveals itself to outsiders. I don’t want to be “that girl that hangs with that crowd.” I want to be, “Mandee, the young woman who loves God and isn’t afraid to make a difference or take a chance.”

Do you get me, do you understand what I’m saying? We should not defined by those around us, but rather by Who is in us.” I should be the one that loves God and people, not the one that just hangs with the popular ones (or is the popular one). 

Let Christ be your definition.

Mandee