Bucked Off

Dec 18, 2008 by mandeewidrick

Just a short thought tonight. I was remembering what I felt like as an intimidated horse-back rider just a couple years back. I was so scared that I’d be bucked off and badly hurt and I lived day to day with that fear.

2008 has been amazing for me, and one of the contributing reasons why is that I restored my confidence in myself as a rider. But I think I missed the boat with people. Figuratively speaking, I’m still getting bucked off!! WHAT A REALIZATION! I have a hard time picking myself up and trying again. In the same way I lost trust in my horse, I lose my trust in humans – it’s not much different than what I went through with my horse. I can move on well enough, and love them again, but I feel as though trust is never fully restored. I brought up an interesting point in a conversation I had tonight. How do you move on when the offense is continuous? I could not fully trust my horse until she was directed by her trainer to do what we asked of her. Up to that point, I didn’t really even want to be near her because it hurt, knowing I wasn’t capable of bringing her to “accountability.” It took a real trainer to accomplish what I couldn’t. The lesson in my story is this: when you’ve done the best you can do, and you know that the circumstance is out of your hands, it’s time to go to the “trainer” – God. He can tame the wildest horse, the fiercest mustang. He knows how when we don’t.